Monday, August 31, 2009

A long lost crush.

So, when my ex and I dated still and he lived on the other side of the country for like 10 months, I developed a controlled crush on this fellow I worked with at the gym. Let's call him Boston. He and I flirted a lot and laughed even more. One night we got a little tipsy and made out in his truck. Nothing crazy, just some over the clothes stuff. I did make him talk dirty to me and I think he was a little embarrassed about that. Also, when it didn't go any further because I had that pesky boyfriend, he way backed off. I can understand. Why chase the cow when the tit isn't lactating. Um...

Anyway, since the breakup, I have been putting in time here and there with Boston. We went out boating on his pontoon in the summer. I spent an afternoon with him and his dad on their houseboat. We hung out in a group with some mutual friends. A flirty text here. A phone call or two there and he is coming up to see me this weekend.

I am pretty excited. He has never been to Prescott, so I want to show him a good time-I mean that in every sense of the word. I am really attracted to this guy. He has put on a few beer pounds since I first met him, but he is so adorable, funny and well read. I am looking forward to our tryst. Will he sleep on the couch or in my king? I am hoping the latter. I could definitely use some real nookie.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Chef

So, tonight I spoke on the phone for the first time with The Chef. He is a new one from my dating service. He lives in Denver, Colorado. He is 39 and single. In his picture he is kind of a cute dork. In his emails to me, his spelling and grammar are poorer than I like. He is a little technologically inept. He talks, a lot, and he interrupts. Two qualities that are a sure turn off. However, I want this boy to have a fighting chance.

I tell him that he needs to be aware that a conversation runs both ways. Two people have to talk. I tried to get off the phone a few times, but he rambled on and through my words. We were on the phone for nearly two hours. I definitely learned more about him than he learned about me. Though, He does hold a level of interest for me, but we will see for how long.

My Friday Night.

Friday night was girls' night, but not before I spent some time with Curly. Friday afternoon, he texts me and asks if I want Thai for lunch. My text in reply reads, "My lunch starts at 12:24 and ends at 1. I am in room 411. You have to stop at the office and get a visitor's pass. They won't hassle you. Pad woo sen, please, and chop sticks."

I find the gesture sweet. I decide to return the favor. Though I really am not feeling great, I ask if he wants to come over for dinner. I know he has to work that night; so, we would only spend a few hours together and I could relax for the evening. Shortly after we make plans, a friend in need calls. I invite her over as well. Dinner is fun. However, I am just not comfortable with Curly. I don't even look him in the face all that much.

He seems a nice enough fellow. I think the fact that he is divorced, has two kids and appears to have much baggage is a big turn off for me. I can't remember how old he is, maybe 32. He manages a bar downtown. I am hoping for a little more in a man. I think he has an adorable quality though, a little Jerry Bear. He does have something with his body that totally creeps me out. He has skinny legs on a seemingly rounder top. It is like two skewer sticks poking from an orange with a grape on top of that.

As I said, dinner is fun. Chica and I get ready to go out and meet up with some of her friends. We stop at a couple of bars and have so much fun. We stop at the bar where Curly works just to say hi. We stay maybe five minutes. When we arrive at Joe's, I order a water and lo and behold Curly sits down next to me. That irritates me beyond words. I only stopped by to say hi; so, don't read too much into that. Plus, I am totally out with the girls. Don't be that guy. Of course I don't say anything. He is pestering me about going camping with him on Sunday overnight-annoying me even more. I have to work the next day. I really don't like to call off, or at least I want to save my days off until I really want to use them. Thank goodness he has to get back to work.

Later he sends me text messages and signs one, "Luv."

I think to myself, "Yikes! Something has to be done." What can I say, my charm is irresistible.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

One more thought for tonight...

It is such a cliché, but it is the truth that the crappier you treat a man, the more they are drawn to you. The Rules, though antiquated, tell us that men enjoy the chase. I have to say that it is true. I told three boys tonight through text, email and a phone call that I was out for any dates this weekend, and all they wanted to know was when I would be available.

Making 'em beg for it,

This weekend...

So, I am supposed to have a first date this weekend, and I am totally going to cancel on the guy. It isn't that I am not interested. He is a 6 foot plus mechanical engineer. In addition to being intelligent and tall, he is dark and handsome too. He does have a kid and is a few years divorced now, which could be such a deal breaker for me. Though I have to consider that men my age that are still on the market might come with some baggage. Also it is to be mentioned that I am the INDISCRIMINATE dater. Whether they come with baggage, bad teeth or bilateral curvature of the spine, I am on board.

Anyway, back to breaking the date. I am so exhausted from work this week and from my mother's week long visit that I am just not up for a drive to Phoenix nor a day and a half of putting my best face forward. Not to worry though, I have two other boys chomping at the bit to see me on Sunday. The Eye wants to drive down here from Flagstaff and Curly McGee wants to take me to some camping adventure. I don't think The Eye will get his shot, but Curly might be one I entertain. I have yet to tell you about him.

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Eye

My first date begins on a clear August day in Jerome. I met The Eye through an online dating service. Amazingly enough, he turned out to be the son of one of my college professors. His profile was somewhat interesting: a children's book publisher, an active Democrat, an identical twin; however his picture left something to be desired. Nonetheless, I am the Indiscriminate Dater and believe in equal opportunity. We met in Jerome, AZ at the Haunted Hamburger. If you have never been, I highly recommend it.

The first thing that I noticed about this man is a toss-up between the polarized glasses and his doughy physique. Neither were a good look for him. Upon closer inspection I could tell he just had a haircut, perhaps hours before meeting with me. This assumption was confirmed not only by the tiny hairs clinging to his shirt but also because he informed me in a rather boring story about his Cost Cutters experience.

Over diner, I learned that he recently contracted and recovered from Hepatitis C. Apparently a blood transfusion as a premie was the cause. I struggled to determine which eye I should look into as I listed to him tell stories about what I have no idea. You see, The Eye has a lazy eye. He has undergone several surgeries so far, but everything just isn't quite right yet. Because I was uncomfortable looking into his ill-placed stare, I moved my gaze downward. I came face to face with his teeth. Now, it must be said that bad teeth and bad breath are a huge pet peeve of mine. This guy topped the list. It wasn't that his teeth were discolored. It wasn't even that his teeth were a little crooked. It was the fact that I could see the layers of plaque lacquered to his enamel. It was a first date for Pete's sake. Brush your teeth, man.

His saving grace was the four hours of laughter and conversation that followed. I mocked him for his shady glasses-the polarization must have been a little worn out and his spectacles stayed dark, even inside. He laughed and agreed it was time for a change. We romped through the stores in Jerome, talked about life, education, politics, business, family and work. We purchased homemade fudge and I entertained him with my vast knowledge of Jerome history (I do love that town). We ended the date with a scenic tour of the Jerome Grand Hotel and some locally made lemonade.

I am seeing him again next weekend.

The Big Why

Frustrated about the lack of quality mates and determined that there must be some good men out there, I decided to start a project. The task, when opportunity knocks, I open the door-every time. I am the indiscriminate dater. Here I plan on sharing the ups and downs of the mid-thirties woman testing the dating waters. I don't plan on embarrassing anyone with my brutal honesty; so, the identities of my dates will remain confidential. Instead, a clever nickname I will bestow upon the unsuspecting boys. Other than that, all information herein will be factual and quite upfront. I won't hold anything back. With that, I invite you into my world.