Monday, August 17, 2009

The Eye

My first date begins on a clear August day in Jerome. I met The Eye through an online dating service. Amazingly enough, he turned out to be the son of one of my college professors. His profile was somewhat interesting: a children's book publisher, an active Democrat, an identical twin; however his picture left something to be desired. Nonetheless, I am the Indiscriminate Dater and believe in equal opportunity. We met in Jerome, AZ at the Haunted Hamburger. If you have never been, I highly recommend it.

The first thing that I noticed about this man is a toss-up between the polarized glasses and his doughy physique. Neither were a good look for him. Upon closer inspection I could tell he just had a haircut, perhaps hours before meeting with me. This assumption was confirmed not only by the tiny hairs clinging to his shirt but also because he informed me in a rather boring story about his Cost Cutters experience.

Over diner, I learned that he recently contracted and recovered from Hepatitis C. Apparently a blood transfusion as a premie was the cause. I struggled to determine which eye I should look into as I listed to him tell stories about what I have no idea. You see, The Eye has a lazy eye. He has undergone several surgeries so far, but everything just isn't quite right yet. Because I was uncomfortable looking into his ill-placed stare, I moved my gaze downward. I came face to face with his teeth. Now, it must be said that bad teeth and bad breath are a huge pet peeve of mine. This guy topped the list. It wasn't that his teeth were discolored. It wasn't even that his teeth were a little crooked. It was the fact that I could see the layers of plaque lacquered to his enamel. It was a first date for Pete's sake. Brush your teeth, man.

His saving grace was the four hours of laughter and conversation that followed. I mocked him for his shady glasses-the polarization must have been a little worn out and his spectacles stayed dark, even inside. He laughed and agreed it was time for a change. We romped through the stores in Jerome, talked about life, education, politics, business, family and work. We purchased homemade fudge and I entertained him with my vast knowledge of Jerome history (I do love that town). We ended the date with a scenic tour of the Jerome Grand Hotel and some locally made lemonade.

I am seeing him again next weekend.

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