Thursday, October 15, 2009

The dead rise

I got an email yesterday from the ex. it read:

Hello,
I am sure you are back in school and busy, I am really busy and time is flying by. Just wanted to let you know I mailed you a check for the moped payment. If you could do me a favor and not deposit it until friday when I get paid that would be appreciated. Next month I will start a direct payment on the 10th for $50, but I am in the processs of switching banks so just sent a regular check this month. I know this moped thing kind of sucks and I appreciate you working this out with me, money has been tight and I am like a slowly sinking ship. I just consilidated all my credit card debt so after this month things should get better and like I said I will just send you the $50 on the 10th automatically. Hope all is well with you and the animals and that you are enjoying this nice weather. Don't feel obligated to write back if hearing from me is akward, just wanted to give you a heads up.

[The Ex]


Before, when I would receive emails from him, a wave of panic would wash over me. My chest would tighten and the lump in my throat would begin to strangle my stomach. It was all too much for me to bear. This time, I smiled. I took glee in the "sinking ship" his life has become. I am not sure that is right, but it feels good not to be in so much pain. It feels good not to be the one that is feeling the crunch. I swiftly sent back my breezy reply. Perhaps he expected me not to.


[The Ex]:

No problem. I don't blame you for switching banks. I have been working on doing that myself. BOA blows chunks. I am actually off this week (fall break); so, I am not really busy at all. I am just doing stuff I want to, which is nice. Though, homework for NAU is not always something I enjoy.

I never cash checks right away anyway, but do you mean this Friday or next Friday?

Try to keep your head above water. You will come out on top. You always do.

[I.D.]


The email was perfect. It said everything that I wanted it to. I don't need your money. I don't really miss you. I am doing just fine. And I feel a little sorry for you. Of course being the gossip queen that I am, I forwarded on the emails to my girls Wildfire and Inky Pink. Wildfire thought I was totally being too nice. In fact, she had this to say:


You are too nice! He never comes out on top. In fact, he only comes out if a woman pulls him out. I know this is hard for you but you are so much better off without him. ... let that whore take care of him; i can assure you that she doesn't compare to you. you are worth more than he could ever give you. just think...he said he consilidated (sic) his debt and that he is like a "sinking ship". THANK GOD that you are not involved in that. YOU are the one that has come out on top! I hope you see that!!


What are friends for. :) She is great. All of my friends have been so strong for me when I couldn't be for myself. Inky Pink and I were messaging about the whole thing and I did wonder if he regrets leaving me. I wondered if he remembers how good he had it once. Inky assured me that it sorta sounds like his does. However, whether he does or not, it doesn't matter. Each day for me is a little easier. Sure I still cry sometimes because i miss the companionship. On occasion, his ghost still haunts this house where we used to live together. I still call my mom and want comfort from being alone. Nevertheless, each minute that passes is one where he is further removed from my life and I am so much better off without him.

So, smiling from ear to ear I decided to share with all of you. It's a grrreat day!

Leaving them in the dust,
I.D.

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