Sunday, November 29, 2009

Celibacy update.

I think the celibacy thing is working for me. I was around Boston this weekend and I was pretty calm and collected. I wasn't my usual jumpy self. I looked him in the eye when we were talking. I actually felt like I was in control. Normally around him I am a bit nervous and stupid. It was a very interesting turn of events. I was able to ascertain that Boston is a tough cookie to crack and I am not about to try and rush cracking it. Things will happen as they do and that is how I am going to let them.

It has been difficult to maintain a celibate status though. My abstinence extends into I.D. private time too. Thursday, while getting ready to head down to the BHC I felt a little frisky an perhaps began to wash myself a little more sensually than usual. I took a step back and took a deep breath. It is difficult to be so chaste, but I am enjoying the payoff so far. It may sound cruel but avoiding sex and all things sex has been such a positive I feel it allows me to be more objective in a situation. AND it really does keep me so clear headed. It also makes me horny as all heck. It is like I am on a constant roll. I love the way everything feels, and smells and looks. I imagine someday when I finally do lay down with a man I may break both of us.

2 comments:

  1. I'm gonna call you George Constanza. He went sexless, too, and became the most brilliant man around!

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  2. As long as celibacy doesn't affect the sammich making abilities... (-;
    DyslexicByName

    P.S. Oooh, almost forgot to switch this to Anon before posting

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