Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Frankie Says Relax...


There is something I have been thinking about for about a week now. I tried to kick the idea around with my therapist, but we were so out of time. So I will kick the idea around with you.

I am on a no sex embargo, and I mean sex in all of its forms. Since puberty, maybe a few years before, I have been interested in boys, and kissing and touching and whatever else. I have used sex to get attention, to make me feel better, because I thought I should. I always get into it too early into a relationship and often it is a base for many of my previous relationships. I think it is time to free myself a little. I need a little breathing room and a little time to learn a little more about a more naked me.

I am giving up on talking about sex, doing it, over the clothes stuff, masturbation, all of it. I think it is going to be interesting. I can't be sure exactly how this experiment is going to go off. I think it may be almost like a spiritual experience for me. It may only last a week before I bust out "The Machine". I have packed up all my toys as a sort of symbolic gesture. I have no idea what is going to happen. My hope is that I will grow somehow from this. I think it may be a bit spiritual. We will see.

Keeping you posted,
I.D.

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