Thursday, December 3, 2009

Outta left field...

A few nights ago I was curious and i went on a midnight ex excavation. I uncovered on the www his and his new woman's website. i knew the domain name existed from a previous exhumation of the leftovers of a dead relationship. the website was a save the date / wedding announcement. i was numb. physically numb. there was tingling in my lips and extremities. i felt faint. i was in shock.

I flipped though the pages learning of the story of their love; he initiated it by the way. i always found her a bit more slutty because i believed whole heartedly that she made the first move. she didn't. i learned of the proposal a few months ago. i read how happy they are and how something i wasn't sure if i ever wanted again would never be again.

it hurt. the sting took me back months. i was devastated. the ache that rose from deep inside my bosom was almost too much to bear. i know that life is suffering, but how much? i wanted an end to my grief. i didn't want to hurt. it was all counterintuitive to the progress i had made over the past months. i explored dark places in my mind. luckily i had a strong martini and the buzz dulled it all just enough. (don't try that at home kids)

i called on some friends. the troops rallied. today is a bit easier to bear. hearts and hugs to t. money, inky, doc, ky, and toot.


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