Sunday, January 3, 2010

hands off.

yesterday morning i hiked around granite mountain with nature boy. he loaded my pack up with some stones for added weight. this pissed me off at first. it was early and i was cold. i can be a bit bratty when things don't go the way i want them. it reminds me of the whining i would do when parents would wake me up for school in the morning. eventually i found my groove and was kicking his ass all over the trail. he did have a considerable amount more of weight in his pack though. he is training for the summer he will spend in colorado fighting forest fires.

the kid is pretty honest. he doesn't offer empty compliments really. he tells it like it is. and as the adage goes sometimes the truth hurts. during the course of our hike he agreed that i talked too much, was a bit selfish about my involvement in my place in the world, and said i had a bit of italian princess in me. i don't think he is wrong, but to hear someone say these things is shocking. most people filter their mouths a bit more. he also told me once about the problem he had with me giving him a homemade mix cd for christmas because how they are destroying the earth.

last night i went to the tavern and met some friends. i stayed for a few and headed home. i stopped off at nature boy's place for a little late night hand rolled cigarette smoke. don't ask me why. i just enjoy smoking those wonderful little toothpicks. we made out for a touch and i was out the door. i didn't feel like making it with him. i just wanted to charge his engine (and mine) a little. i slipped home and into bed.

this morning i woke up with plans for another mid day hike. killer eye, nature boy and some others trekked it up around goldwater lake. much of the lake was frozen. there was lots of snow and mud. my dog took a huge lick of what looked and smelled like human feces. it was like she found a melty caramel bar. disgusting. despite that, it was a good time. the boy did well socializing with my friends. as we all know, sometimes when friends and lovers mingle, it can be disastrous.

i was heading to the movies later, so i dropped the kid off at his place. i went in for, yes another tobacco wonder. inside, as almost always, he feels the urge to cuddle. i mention something and he apologizes. i ask him to give me some space sometimes. i know this may be a little harsh, maybe not. it is honest though. i just don't feel the need to be affectionate like that. i don't really feel like we are dating, i take it as more of a friends with benefits thing. i believe that honesty and communication are key to any relationship-intimate, familial, platonic. however, i have no desire to have a serious talk with the boy. it would make things awkward and i don't want that. i like things the way they are. i hope i can just suggest here and there and he will take the hints and be the good little boy i know he can be. i feel that eventually our time together will end. however, until then, i am just having my fun.



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