Thursday, February 4, 2010

All business

I met up with Ex. We met at Starbucks. He was there before me, sipping coffee and eating cookies. I had agonized slightly over what I should wear, how I should look. At first I was going for I don't care in my workout gear. Then I had on a comfortable casual outfit. I finally went for something professional dressy. I am not sure why I felt I needed to look good. Was it more for him or me? I want to believe me. I think I wanted to feel totally confident. Maybe he thought I was going to meet someone after. Maybe he knew I only dressed well to hide my weaknesses.

I slid into the chair across from him at the table, saying hello. I laid my papers on the table, "how are you?"

He began to shuffle through the documents, reading this one, asking me questions about another one. "How is work?"

"Fine. They are getting rid of tenure here probably. I teach an overload this year. I get paid a little more. It makes things easier. Money makes everything easier."

"Business is good," he said lifting his voice a little.

"Are you asking me if business is good for me or telling me about your business?"

"No, my business is good."

"Well, I am glad. I refer people to you all the time." I am so glad to know that the business I helped start, the business I gave more than 2/3 start up capital too is doing well. In a way it pisses me off that he would think that I care, but at the same time I am never going to get my money back if business sucks.

After he sifted through the last paper, I asked, "anything else you need?" He shook his head. "Well, call me when it is all done. I extended my hand, thanks for doing this."

He clasped my hand and said, "yeah," but never looked me in the eye. I stood up and walked out the door. The whole meeting took a little over ten minutes.

After I was a mix of fine and not so fine. I teared up a bit. I texted some friends. I called my mom. Koala told me to come over. We were going to go to the gym, but he suggested a late night hike by granite mountain. I was so game. My spirits lifted instantly.

For two hours we traipsed around the woods with our headlamps on. He taught me how to use a handheld gps. We chugged a few beers. Laughing and a little tipsy, the problems I thought I had were left behind.

I wish I liked Koala in that way. He is a good man. Home again, I texted him, "thanks." I knew he suggested the hike to get my mind off things.

"no worries," was his reply.

I snuggled under the covers, turned on my ac powered friend, gave myself a little treat and then I was out. All stressful days should end this way.


  1. so you're not doing the "no sex" thing anymore?

  2. I broke down. OMG and when I did... I am off the sex, but I dabble in the manual department from time to time.