Friday, February 5, 2010

They call him the Douche

Here is a funny douche bag story for you all. Boys, let this be a warning. Mind your P's and Q's.

Last Saturday, I met a boy at the bar. He was nice enough. I was hanging out by myself. My girl, Killer Eye was working. I was drinking my usual soda and cranberry with lime. I went down by the fire pits and was enjoying the contrast of the heat from the fire against the cool winter night air. I was people watching and listening. Soon, this man came up to me. He invited me into conversation. I gladly engaged. We talked about my friend Killer Eye, she is a photographer and he is in film. There was nothing so special about him, but whether she yields or refuses, it delights a girl to have been asked. He asked for my number. I gave it and was soon heading home.

Last night, I went out again. There was music. There was soda water, and there was the dude. I felt the need for a square and bummed one from him, calling him by name. He handed me one, "I'm sorry. You will have to refresh me on your name." I reminded him. Now I was laughing in my head. We talk a bit. He asked who I was out with. I told him that I was here to see Killer and listen to music. He replies, "I would like to meet her. She seems like we would have a lot in common." I am cracking up on the inside.

It is clear that he is intoxicated. I just hang out for the ride. Eventually Killer steps outside. I introduce the two briefly. Killer this is Douche. He works on film. Douche, this is Killer. She is a photographer who takes stills for movies.

"Did I tell you I was a videographer?" he queries.

"Don't you remember. I told you about my friend, Killer, too."


I finish my cigarette and head in. I boogie down a bit to the beat the DJ is putting out. Eventually, and pretty early for me on a Thursday, I head home.

Today, talking to Killer, I tell her about Douchey McDouchington. She laughs, "He was trying to get at me at the bar last night. He was saying that he and I should hang out sometime. I told him that I was working. I couldn't hear him and that if he wanted to get at me, he should do so outside of work. Then he asked me about photography. 'Dude! Didn't you hear me. I'm busy.'"

I am laughing out loud now.

A word to the not so wise, don't be a douche. Don't get that drunk. Don't pester the bartender. Don't forget that you were hitting on the bartender's friend if you want to hit on the bartender at a later date.

1 comment:

  1. i was looking forward to a valentines day post!! :(